Big Mistake
by Animerulzs1267
Summary: Francis made the huge mistake in attempt to help Ivan, the insane apartment neighbor across from his window, with his relationship. Will the Yaoi Fan Trio make it out alive? Because it seems unlikely... HunFraPan/RoChu, Rated T. Lots of crack...
1. Chapter 1

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"FRANCIS, THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Elizabeta screamed viciously at Francis who worried which one would kill him first: Ivan or Elizabeta? Why did Ivan have to be so strong—they thought he was just big-boned!

Elizabeta and Francis used their bodies to hold down the door which was would give out if Ivan continued this act. Kiku pranced and circled nervous circles around—panicking and trying to think what he should do to save his yaoi loving friends and **NOT** **GET KILLED**. Right then, Kiku ran off into the living room of their apartment, grabbed a coffee table, rushed back and once they moved aside, Kiku wedged the door just in time—but Ivan was still outside, banging on the door furiously. Francis wasn't doing anything special by panting and crying whilst Elizabeta decided to find another item that could bide some time.

Meanwhile, you may be asking why they were trying not to get killed… Well, if you could, you should learn about the past since it was the key point of what had happened…

XxXxXxX

In the early hours of the morning, Francis was the first one up (fully dressed this time) and stride towards the kitchen for breakfast. Elizabeta was properly asleep in her room whilst Kiku either slept in—which was unlikely for he was a manga artist, and everyone knew his difficult occupation as a famous artist—or was working on another project.

Either way, Francis pondered if Kiku's artist block had ceased while making a cup of coffee, the scent filled his nostrils and poured himself a cup. He then wondered if Ivan and Yao had apologized yet. Francis, Elizabeta and Kiku all knew Ivan and Yao were having relationship problems—evident from their casual spying on neighbors with telescopes—and it wasn't going perfectly between them for the past week.

Francis wished to do help in whatever way he could, but lacked ideas like Kiku who was brilliant putting feuding couples into rest. Elizabeta would surely be capable to them. Both her kind demeanor talking to one person in the couple and her outrageous strength in preventing couples lashing out on one another was a great asset, as well as her butt. But Francis was getting off topic from Yao and Ivan to Elizabeta and his previous failed attempts in flirting with the Hungarian. Because of this, Francis had felt like the third wheel to the Yaoi Fan Trio.

Well, not anymore! A simple task, he thought with pride, and it involves relishing the other lover with a phone call! Surely Yao will forgive Ivan and their Romeo and Juliet act—minus the fighting and the dying—will put itself to an end!


	2. Chapter 2

Ivan didn't mean to come home so late. He wanted to go home early but his boss became impatient with work and Ivan couldn't make it back until eleven thirty. When Ivan came back home, exhausted and weak, he saw Yao dozing on the couch and a bowl of cold fried rice wrapped in plastic wrap on the table waited for him. Ivan felt the surge of gratefulness and guiltiness for making Yao wait long hours and had no clue what to do. However, that wasn't the start of their argument. It was the fact that Yao complained he wasn't in their apartment more often than Ivan would have liked, and then on came the silent treatment and ignoring Ivan all together. Of course it upset the Russian man yet there was no way in making up for lost time, which alone made everything harder in figuring out a plan so they could rekindle their relationship.

However, Ivan stared blankly at his empty coffee table. No ideas could provide a good outcome. He soon began to think negative thoughts while continually glaring at the table, unblinking. Frowning and feeling depressed Ivan had no plan or speech or improvised strategy for Yao once he came back home and give him extra silence. The future of silence dreaded him immensely.

But, from what might be a stroke of good fortune (or possible bad timing and Francis being…Francis); Ivan heard the home phone ringing behind the couch, got up and went to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Ivan, I am glad you answered!" Francis' voice on the other side chided gleefully. "Don't ask, but I some indication that you and Yao are having trouble, no?"

Ivan couldn't believe it, "D-da, but how do—?"

"What is important is not how I know," Francis said, sounding serious. "Now is time to take action! We must rekindle your _amour_ with Yao and hopefully see more yaoi—I mean, see you two smiling again!"

"Francis…" Ivan was lost for words. He felt like he had a friend who reached out to him, of all people! "Thank you for helping me, but how are we going to get back my, uh, amour?" Ivan's large nose stiffened at that word, amour. It sounded weird in his opinion.

"I am glad you ask Mon ami!" Francis spoke excitedly for whatever reason, nonetheless between Ivan and Francis they discussed the plan.

Ivan recounted the idea, playing it scene by scene with an outcome to make them both cry. It sounded risky and thrilling at the same time. Although knowing the risks—with Ivan's eyesight being somewhat average—there was a possibility it could work.

"So is that what will happen once Yao comes home?" Ivan asked again, making sure he understood the formation of their plan.

"Oui mon ami! If it does not, we should agree it was not my fault-"

"Actually...if it does not work and Yao gets mad at me," interrupted Ivan suddenly, "then I will have no choice but attack you. It is the only option I have since it-"

"I don't care what you do as long as you _do not_ damage my hair!" The 'do not' was clearly italic in Francis' tone in how protective he was with his magnificent hair. "So are we doing this or not?"

Was Francis not paying attention to Ivan? "Okay, I guess..."

After hanging up the phone, Ivan muttered if it was a good idea to trust Francis or not…

XxXxXxX

"Okay…"

"What do you mean, 'okay'?"

"I mean, 'okay, Francis, we'll help you get Kiku's overprotective big sibling and the psychopathic-like Russian man who will kill us if we screw this plan up'." Elizabeta explained briefly, unfazed and arms folded.

Francis and Kiku shared the same bleak expressions at Elizabeta. Was their friend sarcastic or serious?

Francis smiled, assuming she accepted his request. "Oh…so you'll help me—"

"NO, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FRENCH IDIOT IN THE WORLD!" bellowed Elizabeta furiously. Standing over the crouched Francis in front of him, she scream and her mouth spat without knowledge spit that Francis felt on his cheeks. "SERIOUSLY, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? OF ALL THE COUPLES WE COULD'VE HELPED, YOU HAD TO PICK THE PSYCHO RUSSIAN MAN WHO WILL NOT ONLY KILL US BUT END OUR LIVES ON A TERRIBLE NOTE!" Heaving angrily, she tightened her fists and was preparing to punch Francis when Kiku thankfully interfered.

"M-may I suggest we think rationally, Elizabeta-san?" Kiku asked, shaking like a leaf and trying his best to calm their female friend. He could see a sight of foam forming just the corner of her left mouth. That wasn't a good sign at all. "First, let us help Francis out of his plan by assisting him. Second, we can celebrate watching them reconcile! Problem solved, right?" He laughed at his two-planned situation—he hoped however it would not be his last laugh.

"And…if it doesn't work out?" Francis said, worried at the thought of it going terribly wrong.

"Uh…" Kiku looked at his friend, a dumb-struck face seen until responding to his question. "We can always kick you out. I have no problem. I need another room for my manga collection." Kiku sated plainly.

"Oh, so if this plan fails, I'll have to leave?" shrieked Francis. Then he caught the sound of Elizabeta's knuckles flexing and cracking. He gulped. "All right, then it's a deal that we'll help Ivan get back with Yao?"

"Yeah...but you better keep your promise!" Elizabeta snapped. "Don't expect us to let you in; we should pack your bags while you make the banners. The paint's in the back with some long paper, we'll be in your room for a while." And with that, Elizabeta was first to get up and march off, followed by Kiku who managed to bow for Francis as a form of apologizing and scurried away.

Great, Francis thought, so I have to do all the work… Oh well, love is complicated and hard-working! Better get to work, I guess…

XxXxXxX

Ivan was un-doubtfully skeptical about Francis' idea. Sure, the two were somewhat hostile (meaning Ivan's part was much demeaning than Francis) but today was a special day as he had to trust him in this insane idea. Sitting on the couch and reading a popular book translated into Russian, his body sweat from the heat in the room and under his arms he felt the moist area thicken with sweat. Why of all times did the air condition break on the hottest day? Ivan had only two fans blowing him from each side of the couch but no effect of the propelling coolness.

Yao should be home by now… Ivan thought worryingly. He tried concentrating on reading. He failed in doing so and tossed the book to the side. Yao's never this late. Looking at his watch, he saw the time had at past two thirty. Just then, Ivan heard the door of their apartment open and quickly got up to check who it was. Not to his surprise, he saw Yao holding a briefcase while removing his red tie off his neck and looking quite tired.

"Yao," said Ivan joyfully, his smile brimming, "welcome home!"

Yao looked up at Ivan, nodded in agreement and walked past him without a second look. Ivan just froze in place. Was he playing the 'no-speaking-to-your-lover-'game? Rushing behind Yao he decided to try and ask how the day was, as Yao loved to complain about his work and his annoying boss and all the horrible things that happens there.

"So how was work today?" Ivan asked, hoping not to sound so obvious in wanting to hear Yao speak to him.

"It was fine." Yao replied, going over to the couch and taking off his jacket. "Nothing special happened." And he left the conversation with reaching for the remote and turning on the TV whilst Ivan stood behind the couch, panicking mentally on what to think and do next.

How was Francis going to help him and Yao? They weren't even in good conversation terms and silence was edging into pregnancy and Ivan didn't want silence as a child! Who the hell would want silence as a child? Ivan excused himself privately from the tiny living room to the narrow hall at the end where he entered at the end in the bathroom to make a quick call.

Ivan held his breath when the phone took a while to ring, but he heard Francis' voice right away and felt relieved for the first time.

"Bonjour, is everything-?"

"I don't know what to do!" cried Ivan. "I tried conversation and it didn't work, I tried asking how day was and it didn't work, and now I put all of my faith into you! Unless you mess it up, and I get blamed, I won't be happy at all!"

"Ah, no need to kill anyone!" Francis' panicked voice erupted shell-shockingly.

"But I don't plan on killing you," he replied, "…yet." He added in a very delicate, silent tone.

"Okay, okay, that's good! Now, here is what we have to do..."

Ivan listened and deep down felt the surge of fear of getting caught in this kooky act.

"Are you sure it will work?" Ivan asked once more.

"Just got out there and give Yao all your courage! And your love, hehe."

"FRANCIS, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO-"

But before Ivan could hear the Hungarian voice finish Francis hung up precipitously; Ivan assumed Francis was still working and hung up. Taking Francis' words into consideration, Ivan stepped out of the bathroom and headed for the living room where Yao was slurping a glass of ice tea while watching the news channel.

"Y-Yao?"

Yao didn't move his head. Ivan felt the lump in his throat thicken but tried again.

"Um...Yao, are you still angry with me?"

"What do you think?" Yao finally said bluntly, his head unturned.

Ivan, afraid, said, "I'm really s-sorry that I made you mad-"

"I hope you are," he said, "because I'm not gonna be the first to apologize when it's your fault I wasted my time... Do you even know how long I wait all alone in this apartment when I actually want to spend time with you?" The sound of Yao hurtful voice edged Ivan's stomach summersault achingly. "I know your job is important but... You know what? Forget what I said, I just want you to do well on your job-"

Just then, Ivan's phone in his pocket vibrated and taking the chance looking it up, he saw that Francis sent him a text.

Ivan, take Yao near your window. We have flags. Try to read them! :)

Of course Ivan was confused but he made sure to get Yao's attention. "Yao, can you come here for a minute?"

Yao seemed reluctant to do so; he however stood up and Ivan pointed near the window where Yao motioned toward yet stopped midway. "Why do you want me to-" Yao was about to look outside of the window automatically but Ivan raced to him, turned him around and took both of his hands onto Yao's shoulders.

"I-I...uh," Ivan glanced over Yao's shoulder, excusing his confused face, and saw Francis waving him quickly, pulling out a piece of paper roll and unraveled it down.

Ivan read the words and spoke with a tad of determination. "Yao, you know I always love you since the first day we met. I know for the past few weeks I haven't been paying attention to you and...and I really want you to know I love you."

Yao was blinking, confused, but didn't protest whatsoever out of fear of messing his speech.

"Did you remember the time I held you hand when you were asleep?" he asked, his eyes flashing back and forth occasionally to the banner and back to Yao wonderful eyes. "I do, but you might not because you were asleep and I would just kiss it and hold you close to me because you were so damn special! I love the way you make me laugh, and worry and I love how you make me…me! I love how you make me know myself better than anyone I ever knew—even myself! It's because of you, I want to know everything about you—"

"How many you's are there?" Yao asked bluntly.

"I just love Yao so much!" Ivan yelled unnoticeably to Yao who jumped slightly at his booming voice. "I love Yao because he's the reason I can understand myself whenever I feel down—you were the first person who I would sometimes ask who out there in this huge world likes me? And then when I see you smiling in my mind, or eating a dumpling or just scolding me, I just know I want to spend my lifetime with you and letting you know everything about me—as well as knowing all the possible things about you!"

Ivan said most of those things off by heart, but the flags Francis was struggling to pull up were just bits of copied text. Nonetheless they seemed to have taken affect to Yao. He was staring at Ivan with such astonished, speechless stares as he began blinking tears forming from the corners. Ivan smiled, thankful, and wiped the tears off his cheeks which streamed down with his right thumb touching his cheek. Ivan leaned forward, hesitant at first of Yao possibly pushing him away, but Yao took him by surprise and pressed his lips to Ivan's.

From afar, Francis was leaning from the window sill, holding the large paper banner in his hands while watching Ivan and Yao kissing passionately from the distance. He nodded and congratulated himself in accomplishing such an achievement all by himself—!

Suddenly, Francis felt an impactful amount of weight crash on his back, causing him to almost splatter off the window sill. "Looks like we'll have to unpack your crap!" Elizabeta said, snickering cheekily and gazing toward Ivan and Yao kissing. "How come you got, like, twenty perfumes in your closet?"

"You-you have better not touch—!" But before Francis finished he felt another pact of weight pushing him to the limit!

"I also found some pictures of you and Arthur back when you were a couple," Kiku said with no shame. "I had no idea you liked to keep the nostalgic feelings of love in your—"

Before Kiku finished, Francis realized the weight was making him having to lean outward of the sill—causing him to suddenly lean too far off the edge. It all happened in slow motion—Francis was beginning to fall off, Kiku jumped off in shock and shrieked as Elizabeta hurriedly reached to grab him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"


End file.
